It's something that touches each of our lives, many times in a variety of ways. It is asked of us to do even when we don’t feel like doing it. We forgive because God asked us to. It's something that makes our lives better because I don’t know about you but a lot of the time it's myself, I must forgive. I’ve done something, said something, thought something. It didn’t even come out of my mouth, but I thought it. Or I acted in a way that was wrong and I knew it. I feel bad for it because it hurts another person. My guilt over it sometimes plays back in my head on repeat. That's not what God wants us to do. He wants us to repent to Him for it. He wants us to learn from our mistakes. He wants us to ask for forgiveness from the people, person or situation that it affected then He wants us to forgive ourselves so that we can move on.
Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
Are we not close with Jesus, is He not our friend as well. So, if we want to be close with Him. We must remember to forgive ourselves also. Because so many times we avoid the person we are mad at, angry with, ashamed of or what was done. And if that person is us, then the only thing we are accomplishing is moving away from God, away from His guidance, His love, His direction. That's not what God wants us to do, when we make a mistake. He wants us to draw near Him, into Him, so He can teach us the right way to do it next time. To be that Father that comforts His child when they fall down. How many times when our own children fall and one of the first reactions is to pick them up, dust them off, make sure they aren’t hurt.
Well, that is exactly what God wants for us. He loves us so much He gave His son to die for us. So, if we don't come to Him when we make mistakes which we all do because no not one is perfect. Then what did He send Jesus for? He wants that relationship with us. That close connection to our secrets, which He already knows anyways. He just wants us to come to Him and confess it. So, we can then start to work on the healing, the rebuilding of the relationship or the rebuilding of our faith. This life we live in is hard and every year that goes by it just keeps getting farther away from Christ. So, we need as Christians to make sure that every day we do a daily inventory of what we have let go of. Who we have forgiven. Have we set ourselves free of the burden that comes with sin, with choosing the wrong option, with saying the wrong thing in the wrong place. We all make mistakes daily. We need to learn to forgive ourselves just as Christ forgives us.
Daniel 9:9 says “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.”
He already knows we will rebel, its human nature, it's a part of us. When they bit the apple. We knew sin. So, He’s not shocked by it, it doesn’t make us look undesirable to Him. God loves us so much that gave His one and only son to be crucified for us to become sons and daughters. If He loves us that much, then what are we waiting for. Why do we wait so long to go to Him and ask for forgiveness? Then, when we are forgiven. Why do we wait to let it go for us?
Ephesians 1:7-8 “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace (not ours His) which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence.”
Now I had to look up the word prudence because it's not a word I use very often, and I realized I wasn’t using it correctly. It means to use careful good judgment. So, God is saying He is using wisdom and careful good judgment towards us through the blood of Christ.
So, what steps can we take to help with learning to forgive ourselves? Understand that God loves you first and foremost. With a love so big it covers everything. Then look at what it was we are having a hard time with. Did we say something to someone that was hurtful? Go to them and apologize for it, talk about what was said and how it wasn’t meant the way we were saying it. Can the relationship be repaired? If yes, then repair it. If you can’t then let it go and remember to be kind towards that person so maybe one day it will heal.
Sometimes we have done something we can’t take back. We can't undo it, but we can go talk about what led to it happening. We can talk about our emotions that helped make the choice. We can talk about what our mindset looked like at the time. Why we did what we did. Doesn’t mean it’s ok but explaining why to people can help them see the process of why we did it. But we also see what led us to doing it. That gives us time to rebuild that relationship even if it's just a distant one.
We can only change ourselves. So, when we make mistakes learning that our guilt is something we go to God for. Have a Godly sorrow and let Him heal us; it releases something in us that allows us to move on. Learn from it. But if we use shame because of what we did that is something the devil uses to keep us down. To make us look at ourselves in an ugly way. It becomes a repetitive habit and a hard cycle to break. So, we need to run to God with our mistakes. Understand that we are loved by Him and then go right the wrong as best as we can. Life is hard but Jesus gave us a manual to live by. Something to use in everyday life, every moment there's a way to make it different. To choose a different way.
So, as we pray, let's ask ourselves if there are any unforgiven things we need to repent and forgive for. To make it right.
Father, thank you for giving us a way out, someone to run to and be loved. We ask you to help us see any unforgiven thing we need to repent for and a way to make it right. Even if it's just inward for ourselves. Help us to forgive ourselves the things we have done, said, thought or acted in a way that was not for you. Help us to heal. Help us to show love and kindness. To show Christ through our daily living. Jesus Name we pray. Amen
Pastor Raelynn Stands
Connections Pastor Northwood Church