Greetings my Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus. I pray that all is well with you and that the peace of Christ Jesus is with you all. I wanted to share with you what the Lord Has been teaching me lately in this season of my walk with Him in the hopes that it may be an encouragement to you all.

As some of you know, my beautiful wife, the crown of favor the Lord has placed upon my head, has been blessed by our Lord with the gift of a fourth child. As much joy as this brings us, it is not without its challenges. It makes me think of this scripture in:

1 Timothy 2:8-15

[8] Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. [9] I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, [10] but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. [11] A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. [12] I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. [13] For Adam was formed first, then Eve. [14] And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. [15] But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

This has led me to reflect on each of my wife’s pregnancies and the trials both her and I have endured through them. The morning sickness, the pain, the weird specific cravings, the hormones, the mood swings (guys we fall prone to these too), the self-doubt, the fear, the planning and the nesting. We have also experienced the chaos of extended family adding their very costly, very unneeded and unwelcomed two cents that if were actual currency, Amanda I could have retired in Bora Bora. With this most recent pregnancy, unnatural fatigue has been the biggest challenge.

However, with each new child, I have witnessed how my beautiful bride has been more and more transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. That by His power she has developed a more gentle and quiet Spirit. As it is written in:

1 Peter 3:1-6:

[1] Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [2] when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. [3] Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. [4] Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. [5] For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, [6] like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I will testify that the Lord has blessed me in seeing my wife become more and more like Sarah as Peter describes. I have been blessed to watch her grow with the Holy Spirit into the woman of God He made her to be as it is written in:

Proverbs 31:10-31

[10] A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. [11] Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. [12] She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. [13] She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. [14] She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. [15] She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. [16] She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. [17] She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. [18] She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. [19] In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. [20] She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. [21] When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. [22] She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. [23] Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. [24] She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. [25] She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. [26] She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. [27] She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. [28] Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: [29] “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” [30] Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. [31] Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Yes, the Lord has truly blessed me with a crown of favor upon my head without whom I would not be where I am today. Yet, my brothers and sisters, I ask that you would pray for me for as much as women face in child rearing, as I stated above, to my understanding, we brothers, men of God, have our own set of trials we must face. The Lord brought me to reflect on how I have fallen short in the past and the mercy and opportunity He brings me each day to honor Him by the way I love and serve His daughter. You see, my dear brothers, for everything our Lord asks of His daughters, He asks of His Sons all the more.

As it is written:

Ephesians 5:25-33

[25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, [27] and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. [28] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— [30] for we are members of his body. [31] “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” [32] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. [33] However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

It is also written:

Colossians 3:19

[19] Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

It is also written:

1 Peter 3:7

[7] Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

As I said, I have failed in the past to love my wife the way the Lord has instructed and commanded me. I have been harsh and domineering. I have been all too often quick to speak, quick to anger and slow to listen. I have too many times held a record envied and boasted wounded with my words being easily offended, self-serving, and self-worshiping. Too many times have I asked the question “what about me?” not only to myself, but to my wife and my God. Oh, what an arrogant man I am to misuse the authority given to me by the one true King! How I have used my freedom to indulge my flesh and propping my feet up to be served, only making a mockery of the example Christ set for us. As it is written:

Philippians 2:5-8

[5] In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: [6] Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; [7] rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. [8] And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

But my dear brothers and sisters rejoice for it is written:

Lamentations 3:18, 21-28

[18] So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”

[21] Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: [22] Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. [23] They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. [24] I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” [25] The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; [26] it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. [27] It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. [28] Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him.

Again, I say rejoice my brothers. Rejoice for if the Lord has blessed you with another morning He has blessed you with another chance to seek first the kingdom of God. He has blessed you with another chance to humble yourself and Fear the Lord and seek wisdom. He has blessed you with another chance to lay your crown at His feet. He has blessed you with another chance to do as it is written:

Luke 9:23-24

[23] Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. [24] For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

Rejoice my dear brothers for with each new morning He has blessed you with another chance to love your wives as He loves as it is written:

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

[4] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. [8] Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. [9] For we know in part and we prophesy in part, [10] but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. [11] When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. [12] For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. [13] And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Rejoice my brothers for each new morning, our Lord blesses us with the opportunity to bear the fruits of His Holy Spirit that our wives may partake and be truly nourished as it is written:

Galatians 5:22-26 NIV

[22] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. [26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

My Brothers Men of God, our wives will eat of the fruit we bear, so let us ask our Heavenly Father to bear the fruits of His Holy Spirit so our wives may speak of us in such a way as this as it is written:

Song of Songs 2:3-5

[3] Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. [4] Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. [5] Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.

Let us Rejoice dear brothers in the mercy of a new day from our Lord to die to ourselves to serve our wives. To put them higher than ourselves, to speak life over them, and into them to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Let us take every opportunity to overlook offenses and be quick to forgive. Let us Rejoice in carrying their burdens and providing them the fruits of the Spirit. Let us be their peace, safety and rest through our Lord Jesus Christ by his power. Let us be courageous and stand between our wives and the enemy with prayer and encouragement. Let us be gentle and bear with them and let us show them the love of Christ. Let us love our wives in such a way that Christ Is glorified, and our wives thank the Lord for us rather than having to ask for strength to endure us. Let us love our wives in such a way that our sons know how to love a daughter of God, and our daughters have a standard and life example of how they are to be loved so that they would not be tricked and deceived by the words and schemes of Godless men. My brothers in Christ, dear men of God, conduct yourself in such a way that if the wives of your sons say to them you are just like your father, they may wear it as a badge of honor. Conduct yourself in such a way that when your daughter searches for you in someone else (because they will like it or not) it will not fill you with fear and worry. But rather rejoicing and praising the Lord that she found a man who knows what it is to fear the Lord and obey and abide in him.

Finally, my dear brothers if you are struggling to love your wives just as I have, I implore you humble yourselves and repent to your father in heaven that you may be forgiven and corrected. I pray that your prayers may not be hindered as it is written:

1 Peter 3:7

I pray that this message finds you well and remember it is written: Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

It is also written: I can do all this by the power of Christ. He gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

May the grace shown by the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. May the love that God has given us be with you. And may the sharing of life brought about by the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Blessings,

Pastor Dakota Swinton