I have been at an event this week which has blessed me very much. I got the honor of serving as a sectional presbyter for the MN Assemblies of God (MNAOG). This week I have had the honor of serving as a member of a board who interviews potential pastors, young and old, and talk with them, pray with them, and hear their hearts for this calling on life.
And not one story is the same. Not one.
The expectations on these candidates are quite high. To become pastors, to hold yourself to a level of standards that approaches what the Bible lays out. (you notice I said approaches the standard, because “all fail and fall short of the glory of God…” Romans 3:23
And hearing these stories and listening to these callings, it has made me wonder about the expectations that I put on people I know.
Now first, let’s be clear. Everyone puts expectations on people. If someone tells you that they do not have expectations, they are either fooling themselves or they are just lying. We all do it. We have expectations, especially for the people around us. Right? I mean, just thinking about my children and as they grew – I had expectations for each of them. For the people I work with and serve with – of course I have expectations for them in how they do the ministries, or jobs that they are to do. In fact, if you are any type of manager of people in an occupational position, or a serving position, expectations are written into the development plan. I know that they’ve been in every job I’ve had.
But we have different expectations for those we love, don’t we. We place people into levels of expectations, those who are supposed to love us for instance. Our parents, our children, our spouses, even our siblings. These are people who because of the close proximity to our inner circle, become “high expectations” people. Then there is the next level, people who we are close too, people we might even trust, but we aren’t completely shocked when something occurs that breaks trust because they are not in the “high expectations” category, they would be in the “high-middle expectations" category.
So we are caught off guard and hurt quite painfully when a “high expectations” person breaks trust, and it can really throw us off. You can see where this is going, right? High, high-middle, middle, middle-low, low, and so on. An expectational scale.
And we attribute significance to each category in our expectational scale to how much these levels can hurt/harm us, or help/encourage us.
But are expectations really fair? I mean, is it scriptural? Is it a characteristic of God?
And it’s a really big question.
It really depends on how you understand God—and where your personal faith is.
God does have expectations—but they’re usually less about perfection and more about orientation or what is our heart saying. In fact, God knows that we are not going to be perfect, but what He wants to see which way we are headed. What do we choose?
Do we treat others with compassion and fairness?
Are we honest, humble, and responsible for our actions?
Do we try to grow toward goodness, even when we mess up?
So then in this view, expectations aren’t where we mess up, they become a moral compass. And falling short doesn’t mean rejection; it means you’re human and still you are learning.
It means that growth is much more about learning and relationships. Because you can follow the letter of the law on something but not believe in it. And we are being asked to believe with everything we have Jesus. Do we trust Him? Do we have faith in Him? You have to be able to answer the question.
But yes, when it really comes down to it, there are expectations. And we all do it, and we all have them placed on us. These expectations are consistently described as a journey of growth, empowered by faith and the Holy Spirit, leading people to reflect on what is God's character.
Here are some core expectations that we see in scriptures, for instance;
Love God & Neighbor: The greatest commandments are to love God with all your being and your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).
Act Justly & Show Mercy: treat others fairly with compassion (Micah 6:8).
Live Righteously & Be Holy: pursue goodness and be set apart, reflect God's own holiness (1 Peter 1:15-16).
Believe & Trust: have faith in God, and to follow His guidance.
And many times, we look at these as merely suggestions – but they are not. In fact, we have a list of commandments that we hold too laid out in Exodus 20:2-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21, that give us much more than expectations.
There is no complete answer other than, we are not perfect, we are human, and we will have expectations, and we will expect from people, and people will expect from us. But if we look at it with the lens of our Sovereign Lord, then we will see that many reasons for expectations are that we want to encourage those around us, those we love, those we think highly of, to be the best they can be.
I think that is why God put the greatest commandment in our path. The Great Commandment. According to Jesus in Matthew 22:36-40, the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind". This is the first and foremost commandment, with a second being to love your neighbor as yourself.
This expectation emphasizes the complete, total, and unconditional love for God using one's entire being (heart, soul, mind). The second part Jesus links to a second, related command: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," (Leviticus 19:18).
So maybe we give each other a little slack but just know that God is expecting us to follow Him in ALL ways, not just some ways. Not just in the ways that we can relate too or actually carry out…in all ways.
Maybe expectations aren’t fair. Maybe expectations aren’t fun. But guess what? It’s real life. It’s what we have. It is what it is, as people say. And maybe we put them on people unfairly. And yes, I think we should be looking at ourselves as we make our expectations for others. But I also think that expectations can hold us to a higher standard that we are being called to be as people of God. Let’s look to Him in all things. He will guide us.
Peace,
PTV